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Despite all of my efforts to keep everything on track and stay on schedule with purchasing a farm and starting a business, there are a number of factors that are out of control. Today I learned that no matter how many times I call the Farm Service Agency to check in and no matter how many times they assure me that everything is going smoothly, it's still a government agency. And the government makes everything more difficult.
Long story short - it doesn't look like I will be able to close on April 30, as planned. Even though the loan agency had said I could close in 30 days (and I signed the contract to allow 60 days, just to be safe) the paperwork for the appraisal got stuck somewhere along the way. The MA state office puts out requests for bids (a 10 day process) and they allow the appraisers 8 weeks to complete the assignment. Yesterday they said it would take 8 weeks, and after a few phone calls, today they said the earliest they could do the appraisal is mid-May. Then they have to process the estimates I collected for home improvements and put together the rest of the closing papers. I don't know how long that will take, but I do know it will take longer than April 30.
I'm still hoping there is some way that this can be fixed. I called the office and I'm looking for a way to hire another appraiser so that we can stay on track. It's more than just the 50 pullets arriving next week that won't have a home, or the flats of vegetables sitting in the living room that need to get in the ground, or all of the improvements that need to be done to the house and the outbuildings this season. Losing another month on this already short growing season means that I need a whole new plan.
I can do it. I know I can. I just feel so depleted when the stress and worry start to seep in. It's a minor setback, but a reminder of how tenuous this opportunity still is. If the current owners don't accept the change in contract, the deal is over. If the appraisal doesn't come back in the ballpark or doesn't allow funding for improvements, the deal is over. It felt so good to be optimistic and brave - believing everything was finally working out. But now I'm overwhelmed with doubt and it's exhausting.
I know that I need to learn to be more patient, more trusting, less worried, less affected by stress. I've really been focused on trying to become a better person. But I tell you, it's a lot easier said than done.
Thank goodness there's always tomorrow. Here's hoping tomorrow brings good news.