I'm a pretty big believer that a really good hug, a long sleep, and a hot pastrami sandwich can make anyone feel better - so yesterday that's exactly what I did.
I only climbed out of bed in the morning to tend to the chickens and make sure they were going to have a great day (ie. fed them lots of treats of beet tops and bread crusts), and aside from a few midday errands I spent the rest of the day lounging around and scouring the internet for potential properties. My parents had a very similar day (minus the chickens) and together we came up with a pretty long list of houses for sale in the area, which I then decided to sleep on.
I don't mean to be a Debbie-Downer (or even a Negative Nancy), but of the 20-ish properties I forwarded to my real estate agent this morning to set up viewings for, I'm excited about 0. There are very few properties that are greater than 5 acres (10+ is my ideal) that have any cleared land. I'm still just searching in New London county, in hopes that the loan office would be able to keep my application and transfer the property, but I think that could be overly optimistic.
So, I'm coming up with lots of other plans. First on the list is to file a lawsuit and get closure on the Lebanon farm so that I can just move on. Second is discussing alternatives with the loan agency, which I'm not looking forward to. Third is resigning from my job at the preschool. That may seem like a rash decision thrown in the mix of all of this turmoil, but there's been a really strong lack of job security (mixed with unnecessary drama) and I just don't need the extra stress right now. I need time to come up with a better alternative.
Which brings me to item number 4: coming up with a plan for this season. Even if I find the perfect farm tomorrow and everything goes according to plan, moving in the middle of June is just too late to really get started (but would give me a great jump on next season!). I'm still looking to purchase something very soon, but also returning to some potential properties to lease in the short-term. I may also look into purchasing land (without a house). My goal is to just keep working on this project and seeking new opportunities. I couldn't be more disappointed, but I do trust that something will come up.
There's got to be a farm out there for me. And if not? Well, I always wanted to be a ballerina. I'll find my path somehow.