|photo from crushculdesac.tumblr.com/|
The conversation involved a lot of numbers. It doesn't even feel like money to me anymore. I've worked my entire life for the money that I have in my bank account and it's not even 1/10th of the money that I need to purchase the farm. I know a lot of people that love to spend money, but I just can't conceive of spending money that I don't have.
We spoke about the specifics of the North Stonington property, comparable properties in the area, and where the market is at. Tomorrow after work I will meet with a broker to discuss the finances in more detail and decide on an asking price and negotiation strategy. I want to offer a fair price for the property, but do not want to pay considerably more than it's worth. And with recent tax assessments, the offering price will be considerably lower than the asking price. That's just how it is.
The biggest accomplishment of the day was not the financial conversation, but the process of letting go. I will put in an offer that I can afford (with a little wiggle room to negotiate and cover any unexpected costs), and then wait. Either the family will come back with a reasonable counter-offer or they won't. I'll be disappointed if we can't negotiate (for sure), but I'm prepared for that. I will not do whatever it takes to get this property - only what I know I can do on my own to make it work.
I feel sort of sad having to let go, even though I won't know for sure until next week. But I need a clear mind to make the best decision, and that does not involve dreams of gardens and pigs and all the special-needs chickens I can care for. If I've learned anything thus far in life it's that things rarely work as I first plan, but they always work out in the end.
Clear eyes, full hearts.